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"I was in math class and I felt the explosion. Later,
the principal told us what happened. I was so scared, I felt
sick. I mean, what if someone did that to our
school?"--Andrea
Whether you had direct contact with a disaster such as
the attacks on the Pentagon and the World Trade Center or
you simply heard about it on television, you are likely to
have strong feelings about what happened. It's normal to
feel anxious about your own safety after such an event, to
picture the disaster in your mind, and to wonder how you
would react in an emergency.
It's also common to find that you don't feel well during
a stressful time. Reaction to a terrible event can bring on
headaches, stomach problems, rashes, and other physical
complaints. These symptoms may show up right away, or they
may not appear for weeks or months after a disaster has
occurred.
"After the disaster, I saw all those people on TV and
I couldn't stop watching. I cried all the time. Now I'm
having a lot of dreams about people getting hurt. My brother
thinks I'm being silly. He says 'Oh, it's sad, alright, but
it's not really affecting me that much.'"--Teresa
People react in different ways to trauma. Some become
irritable or depressed, others lose sleep or have
nightmares, others deny their feelings or simply "blank out"
the troubling event. While it may feel better for a while to
pretend that not much has happened, in the long run it's
best to be honest about your feelings and to allow yourself
to acknowledge the sense of loss and uncertainty.
"What's weird is, my mom just freaked, and she's still
not really back to normal. Sometimes I feel like I'm the
parent and she's the kid!"--Jason
Strangely enough, the adults you have always looked to
for leadership may turn to you for support during a very
stressful time. It's important to realize that, while things
may seem off balance for a while, your life will eventually
return to normal. Your willingness to be supportive to
family members and friends during a difficult period is a
good sign that you are gaining in maturity.
"My uncle died in the disaster. Now my friends don't
know what to say to me and I can't stand to hang around the
house. I feel guilty if I laugh or want to go to the mall.
What am I supposed to do?"--Ryan
It's important to talk with someone about your sorrow,
anger, and other emotions, even though it may be difficult
to get started. Your friends want to help, but probably
don't know how to approach the subject. They may be waiting
for a sign from you that you are willing to talk. It is also
helpful to get back into recreational activities you enjoy.
It is not a sign of disrespect that you want to heal and
move on with your life, even though you have suffered a
great loss.
"I try not to talk about the disaster with my friends;
I just want us to have fun again. And, I guess I'm worried
they'll think I'm acting like a baby."--Amy
You may feel more comfortable talking about your feelings
with a teacher, counselor, church youth leader, or hotline
worker. The important thing is that you have someone you
trust to confide in about your thoughts and feelings.
Remember, though, that your friends may be hoping to find
someone they can talk to, and you can be very helpful by
listening and discussing their concerns.
"I wish we could just take the people who did this and
blow up their families. Let's see how they'd feel
then!"--Michael
It's common to want to strike back at people who have
caused great pain; this desire comes from our outrage at
being innocent victims. We must understand, though, that it
is futile to respond to violence with more violence. Nothing
good is accomplished by hateful language or actions.
Instead, by acting responsibly, we can restore our sense
that, overall, the world is a place where good far outweighs
evil.
"I wonder if I'll ever feel okay again. I mean, it's
been quite a while and I still think about it every day. .
."--James
You will always remember the disaster, and in some ways
your life will never be the same as before. But the painful
feelings you have about this event will decrease over time,
and you will come to understand that, in learning to cope
with the tragedy, you have become stronger, more adaptable,
and more self-reliant.
Posted September 2001
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